On the subject of having children

I've been having a major dilemma over the past couple of months.  We have 2 beautiful children, a boy and a girl.  Both at great ages, one even potty trained.  It's getting to that time where people keep asking me when the next one is coming.  I always laugh and shrug in response, but deep down I'm wondering that myself.  I know I'm getting older, and I sort of already set a cap on the age in which I want to have children.  That age is about 2 years away so I'm feeling like I need to do the whole baby thing again.  But if I'm being  honest....babies are hard.  At least for me.  I love my children.  So much.  And I am so grateful now that child #2 came way earlier than I had planned or wanted because he is seriously my favorite an awesome kid.
The problem is: I love our life.  Everyone feeds themselves.  Everyone sleeps all night (and I mean I put them in bed, and don't get disturbed until 8:30/9 the next morning-heaven).  There is a one child to one parent ratio.  As my husband says "We have one of each, we are done!"  And right now it takes us a good while to get out the door.  I can only imagine if I added a 3rd to the mix.
And I also feel I know what people are going to say.  It gets easier, the older one can help, etc., etc.  But does it?  Get easier?  It's taken me a good 2-3 years to even get a handle on this whole motherhood thing.  And truth is I still struggle every day.  Going from 0 to 1 child was ten times harder than going from 1 to 2 kids, but I'm thinking 2 to 3 is a big jump.
I feel a bit horrible even writing about this but it has seriously weighed on my mind as of late.  I realize I am lucky because I can just decide when to have kids (although who says it would happen easy for me a 3rd time?), and I should be grateful to even be having this discussion. But still.

I mean it should be a hard decision right?

News

Something wonderful has happened at our house.  Scratch that, something magical has happened.  It's been going on for a few weeks but I really haven't told a soul for fear it would stop.  Thankfully, I think it's here to stay.

What is this magical, wonderful, beautiful thing?

My children have started playing....together.  I really needn't say more.

Except YIPPEEEEEEE.

p.s. my son rarely goes a day without some sort of bruise on his head.  i promise i don't neglect him.  he falls down.....a lot.

2012

Last year I decided to do monthly resolutions.  Each month I would try to accomplish something different and then at the end of the year feel like a super woman.  Then we sold our house, moved, built a house, and moved into that house.  I didn't do horribly, but for the most part resolutions went out the window.  This year I decided NO resolutions (well except for the one about controlling my anger), however there are things that I would like to do.  So for 2012 I want to:

• Read more.  My sister in-law just lent me this,

 and said I HAD to read it.  It took me 2 weeks to even pick the book up, but once I did I could not put it down.  It was such a quick read and the whole time I was dying to know what would happen next (so excited for the movie in March!).  Up next I want to read the other 2 books in this series, along with The Help and Tina Fey's Bossypants (I've been dying to read this one for some time.  The woman is hilarious).  Any other book recommendations would be welcomed!

• Be more patient and play more with my daughter.  Yes, she is so difficult sometimes I want to jump out the window.  But I have got to be more patient with her, no matter how difficult she is.  She cries and cries over every little thing, and where I used to get upset at her and tell her how not to act, or put her in time out, I am going to take the advice of my cousin and just show her love.  It sounds so simple.  And I feel like such a bad parent for not having used this tactic most of the time.  That's what new beginnings are for though, right?  I have taken this different approach a few  times already and the results have been awesome.  Also, I told myself that every time she asks me to play, read, etc. I am going to drop what I am doing and oblige her.  This has also happened a couple of times just in the past 3 days, and every time I wanted to make an excuse as to why I would have to read or play with her later.  I'm shocked at how much I brush her and her brother aside.  I'm going to try really hard not to do that anymore.

• Lose 10 pounds.  Because it wouldn't be January if I didn't want to lose some sort of poundage.  

And now that I'm finished with this it looks like a list of resolutions.  Man I hate that word.